The World Poutine Eating Championship is in town this year (or rather was). In a rare move, I have deliberately waited to write until after the event and you will soon see why. Now, food eating competitions can be fun to watch, attend or participate in. I mean who wouldn't enjoy an all girl hot dog eating competition?

Marry me..either one of you.

Or a straight out jello shots competition?


There's actually two jello shots on her body. Top one is pictured.

But I dont think anyone would take much pleasure in watching people stuff their faces with greasy oily fries smothered in cheese curds and gravy, which looks quite similar to...ahem, nevermind. Here's what normal poutine looks like for those non-Canadians. Look, truthfully, I enjoy a good poutine myself every now and then, and I'd like to keep it that way. But I will guarantee if you watch it being slathered against a fat guy's neck folds, diluted thoroughly in his sweat juice dripping off his oily beard stubs, you may never touch poutine again...or sleep for that matter. So, as a community service, I have delayed announcing the World Poutine Eating Championship until its conclusion last Sunday. Now if you are still keen on attending, have no gag reflex, and don't use the same scale of 'sane' that most of us adhere to, then there's always next year, for it's now an annual event. This is what you may be looking forward to...


Well you kinda saw this coming, after the treat you received in the previous photo.
Gotta keep things balanced in the universe.

Cost: Free

From September 8 to 18 we are playing hosts once more to the Toronto International Film Festival. Should I go? If you truly want to experience any of the 400 films from over 60 countries, then the answer is definitely yes. Lots of good ones premiere at this festival, but the bulk of them are definitely a borefest. You just have to find the gems yourself.

Now if you only want to experience the hollywood stars and give a crap about Brad and Angelina and the rest of the gang, then I think you're better off watching them at home and keeping the downtown streets unclogged. But, I do understand some of you are diehard fans, and if they entertain you, then why not? Go nuts! Sit and camp under the window of their hotel room with the photographers and that good mannered hobo who holds your door while you go into Timmy's (I always suspected that guy is actually a bored Bay St. billionaire, out on his lunch conducting a sociological experiment). Anyway, back to TIFF - beware that along with the A stars there's also some A-class garbage that's gonna fill our streets. Those special stars with an asterisk besides their A's, like the diva who can't make an appearance without a pair of diamond-encrusted headphones. Following is a reenactment of the proper response.

J'LO Reenactment

Now one more time, how many tiaras your highness requests?

Or the posers who can't produce an original song if they were slapped in the face by a trout.


Pictured: Fergie using the five finger discount technique on a stolen mobile.
It's not stealing if u change the ringtone.

And of course, who could forget the douchebags. Stay away from these A-class garbage should they be encountered on our streets come TIFF time. Like the idiots who can't put out a song w/out smearing their douche name all over its lyrics...you know, in case you mistake their voice with some church choir that has inexplicably made its way onto your "Gangasta' in my ass" album.


Youtube


Youtube

Cost for TIFF: $12.00 to $22.25 + tax (adult) per screening