tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35515720194486874532024-03-05T01:57:11.994-05:00Alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.comBlogger96125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-50754031139957518182013-07-10T14:10:00.000-04:002013-07-23T10:45:58.222-04:00Jet skiFor those of us on a budget we cannot (and probably will never) afford to have our very own personal watercraft. Fortunately a new up and coming company opened shop in Toronto and rents our their watercrafts to clients with a tight budget. <A HREF="http://www.sportrentals.ca/" target="_new">Exclusive Sport Rentals</a> gives you the opportunity to have a lot more fun this summer. But "fun" is a subjective term.<BR><BR>
<CENTER><b>WHAT SHE DID</b><BR><IMG SRC="http://i.imgur.com/8vdRfOd.jpg" width=350 height=262 ALT="Jet ski sexy seadoo"></CENTER><BR><BR>
<CENTER><b>WHAT THE JET SKI OWNER SAW</b><BR><IMG SRC="http://i.imgur.com/TGheCDe.jpg" width=350 height=262 ALT="Jet ski sexy seadoo"><br>Safety clip key not attached to body</CENTER><BR><BR>
<CENTER><b>WHAT I SAW</b><BR><IMG SRC="http://i.imgur.com/sVM6IV0.jpg" width=350 height=262 ALT="Jet ski sexy seadoo"></CENTER><BR><BR>
Now you may not always have $200 in your pocket to spend on a jetski, but fortunately they have a ton, no really, one of the biggest selection of watercrafts and summer outdoor equipment and rentals from fishing boats and ATVs to the more docile kayaks, canoes, and paddleboards - the newest fad in our fair city.<BR><BR>
<CENTER><IMG SRC="http://www.visitbend.com/Bend_Oregon_Activities_Recreation/Visit%20Bend%20Paddleboarding%20030.jpg" width=350 height=262 ALT="Paddleboard"><BR>The newest sport for middle aged women.</CENTER><BR><BR>
They have promotions throughout the season, especially in the off-season and during holidays, so check them out. Go enjoy our lakes (we have plenty of em), our trails (we have plenty of em), our fresh air (plenty of that too), and our wildlife (plenty of it as well, just ran over a squirrel again yesterday). I may have bashed on Canada quite a bit over the years, but America junior turns out has plenty of positives as well, and keeping optimistic is what us mother canuckers do.<BR><BR> Meanwhile in Egypt....<BR><BR>
<CENTER><IMG SRC="http://i.imgur.com/v7ajYVg.jpg" width=400 height=400><BR>Hmm tough choice for vacation this summer.</CENTER><BR><BR>
Cost: varies
Alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-36531599073234597022013-07-05T22:05:00.000-04:002013-07-05T22:12:03.857-04:00Night it up - Night Market<A HREF="http://nightitup.com/" target="_new">Night Market</a> is a nice family friendly option in the GTA, especially when compared to <A HREF="http://budgetgta.blogspot.ca/2013/05/swingers-party.html" target="_new">this</a>, so dads everywhere can rejoice and bring their young'uns. Those worthy of the name dad. There are always exceptions:<BR><BR>
<CENTER><IMG SRC="http://pmchollywoodlife.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/fans-react-north-west-lead.jpg" width=400 height=476><BR><A HREF="http://o.canada.com/2013/06/21/top-11-funniest-tweets-about-kim-kardashian-and-kanye-wests-baby-name/" target="_new">The exception.</a></CENTER><BR><BR>
The main attraction at the Night Market should be the food. Street food! 100+ food vendors. That would be enough to satisfy anyone's appetite. Or for Queen Latifah's dietitian enough to get her fired for trying to starve the Queen to death.<BR><BR>
<CENTER><IMG SRC="http://i.imgur.com/JaLRhGO.jpg" width=250 height=184><BR>Pictured here sporting that come here shemale look.</CENTER><BR><BR>
There's also a <A HREF="http://nightitup.com/attractions/truck-pull-race/" target="_new">Truck Pull race</a> for those who think hanging out with their queer friend in a bedroom browsing web cam chat rooms and flashing gang signs with kitten whiskers painted on their faces is too pointless.<BR><BR>
<CENTER><IMG SRC="http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/4756247/tuhlo-o.gif"><BR>No, really.</CENTER> <BR><BR>
Cost: Free
Alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-5125434760496418542013-05-10T20:33:00.000-04:002013-05-10T20:33:49.524-04:00Swingers Party<center><img SRC="http://i.imgur.com/TPEozW5.jpg" width=200 height=270 ALT="Lingerie"><BR>Warning: objects may appear sexier <BR>than they are after 6 beers</CENTER><BR><BR>
Toronto is fortunate to host a number of swinger parties each year. This scene is so popular in this city that it has multiple clubs offering swingers parties on a weekly basis. Every weekend you can go and unwind and have some fun with your fellow swingers. If you are not a solo male you can go as you please to any of these parties, solo guys have to work harder to get accepted. Expect it to be safe, controlled and professionally ran. In fact they have become so popular, this year Toronto will have it's own version of <A HREF="http://www.hedonism.com/what-is-hedonism/" target="new">Hedonism resort</a> at one of Ontario's lake cottages.<BR><BR>
For a limited time this May, the <A HREF="http://www.ocouplesclub.com/" target="_new">O-Zone club</a> in Etobicoke has reduced cover charges (about 30% off) so interested couples can go and find out just how deep the rabbit hole goes. <BR><BR>
<CENTER><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/NSG0xEJoZA0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></CENTER><BR><BR>
Cost: $40-60/person cover
Alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-73104803636375148072013-03-05T22:35:00.001-05:002013-03-05T22:39:38.691-05:00Target Canada<center><img SRC="http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120825021407/logopedia/images/5/54/Target_logo.svg.png" width=200 height=265 ALT="Target logo"><BR>Welcome bro.</CENTER><BR><BR>
Today the first Target Canada stores opened up in Ontario. In a country where <b>retail monopoly</b> is synonymous with <b>"the true north strong and free"</b>, I for one am happy to see one more US giant come and shake things up, bringing U.S. discounts that make America the true land of opportunity. We've come a long way from having just 3 retailers in the entire country (bay, zellers, eaton's), 3 telecom companies (bell, rogers, telus), and 3 fast food joints (have no clue which, but a lot less than the choices we have today).<BR><BR>
Now don't expect prices at Target Canada to be on par with Target US, despite identical products and identical cost of manufacturing. The first words out of the spokesperson's mouth were plenty of excuses why Canadians should pay more. <A HREF="http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/target-s-canadian-launch-expected-to-spark-price-wars-1.1181765" target="_new">"In Canada, we can source the material for just the same price they can in the States. The difference is in the labour cost. Minimum wage higher, there are more public holidays, for instance, to be paid for out of sales," he said</a>. I put this quote into Bing to translate it but all it spit back was something about my momma and how Google sucks, so let me do the translation for you: "In Canada, we can sodomize the people a lot easier without those pussies fighting back, so we can afford to charge more for flimsy reasons". But I'm used to this garbage after seeing Walmart, Amazon, Best Buy, Newegg pull the same shit.<BR><BR>
Bottom line is that there's more competition and that's a good thing. They are somewhat on par with walmart and even though we pay more at Canada's walmarts, I'm pleased with their stores, selection, and prices.<BR><BR>
Cost: See walmart
Alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-34566414179122063822013-01-26T09:01:00.001-05:002013-01-26T09:08:46.677-05:00Niagara Winter Festival of LightsThis will be the last weekend left to enjoy Niagara Falls' <A HREF="http://www.wfol.com" target="_new">Festival of Lights</a>. For families and young ones you can take a day off and let the kids enjoy the lighting displays. If it's a romantic gateway, you can still enjoy the lights from the ice skating rink at TD Rink at the Brink. You can have an evening with your loved one on the ice, followed by a nice round of cocoa someplace warm, preferably after 10pm near the falls and the fireworks show.<BR><BR>
Just remember to not fall prey to the extra (voluntary) taxes that many business in the Niagara region will try to levy on you. Be a savy consumer, read this comprehensive <A HREF="http://ca.news.yahoo.com/niagara-falls-tourist-fees-collected-little-oversight-085927383.html" target="_new">CBC article</a>, and don't take shit from noone. If the service was spectacular leave a big tip. If they try to gouge you and disguise the "destination marketing fee" then reply politely they can "shove that fee right up their ass"!<BR><BR>
Festival cost: freeAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-38349557964168171082012-12-25T13:18:00.001-05:002012-12-25T13:19:52.805-05:00Boxing DayEach year Canadians are duped into thinking they can save big money on boxing days deals. Each year the sales get lamer and lamer. For something that started as a Black Friday counterpart to our southern neighbours' big sale extravaganza, it has turned shittier and shittier with each passing year. When comparing the two, boxing day is like the gay Robin to US's black Friday Batman. It's like the little engine that could, except it doesn't and it gets molested by its creepy uncle. It's a "holiday" that tried hard and fails miserably. It's like Old Yeller, only no one seems to be willing to pull the trigger on this rabid infestation.<BR><BR>
For every "door crasher" and its limited quantity of "only 3 available" a bunch of lame 15% sales litter the store aisles.<BR><BR>
Originally I was hopping to hold out on a laptop purchase for this *ahem* sale holiday. I'm very pleased that I didn't. Every Boxing Day sale observed so far equals to or is quite weaker than regular season sales. Here are some of the flyers for tomorrow's big day:<BR><BR>
<CENTER>
<A HREF="http://www.redflagdeals.com/flyers/best-buy/boxing-day-sale-7027/" target="_new">Best Buy flyer</a><BR><BR>
<A HREF="http://www3.ncix.com/promo/promosale.php?webid=BoxingWeek2012&sn=2654" target="_new">NCIX Sale Catalog</a><BR><BR>
<A HREF="http://www.redflagdeals.com/flyers/future-shop/boxing-day-sale-7114/" target="_new">Future Shop flyer</a><BR><BR>
<A HREF="http://www.redflagdeals.com/flyers/sears/boxing-week-sale-online-flyer-7250/" target="_new">Sears flyer</a><BR><BR>
<A HREF="http://www.redflagdeals.com/flyers/tiger-direct/2012-boxing-day-now-7079/" target="_new">Tiger Direct flyer</a><BR><BR></CENTER>
<center><img SRC="http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/32443781.jpg" width=300 height=300><br />Kayla is not impressed this year.</CENTER><BR><BR>
Cost: Just your wasted timeAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-17568787188720509072012-11-13T21:04:00.001-05:002012-11-14T17:17:33.681-05:00Black Friday<font size="3"><b>Update Nov 14</b></font> - Apparently after the cyber shit hit the fan and several sites reported on this, Amazon today quietly corrected the "problem". You stay classy Amazon, see you when the next "bug" is discovered.<BR><BR><BR>
With <A HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Friday_%28shopping%29" target="_new">Black Friday</a> almost here some smart shoppers will no doubt think about some of that dreaded Christmas shopping. And with US retailers dominating the best deals, border shopping seems like the smart choice. However the savvy shopper should be forewarned - few retailers are out to give you the best deal on Black Friday. A lot of them seem to be content on screwing you over.
<BR><BR>So here I am, browsing our neighborhood Amazon store, when I stumbled on this little gem. Same product, same time/minute of day, and somehow the prices are different based on the browser that I'm using.
<BR><BR>
<center><A HREF="http://i.imgur.com/hvopl.jpg" target="_new"><img SRC="http://i.imgur.com/hvopl.jpg" width=600 height=337 ALT="Firefox"></a><br /><font size="3"><b>Here's the product in Firefox.</b></font></CENTER><BR><BR>
<BR><BR>
<center><A HREF="http://i.imgur.com/0prwF.jpg" target="_new"><img SRC="http://i.imgur.com/0prwF.jpg" width=600 height=337 ALT="Internet Explorer"></a><br /><font size="3"><b>And here it is in Internet Explorer.</b></font></CENTER><BR><BR>
Now in Firefox above, the toothbrush is <b>$153.25</b>, yet when you pull up the same toothbrush in Internet Explorer it magically transforms into <b>$171.99</b>. Not only that, the units left drop from <b>4</b> remaining to only <b>2</b>!!! Amazing. Switching back to Firefox it shoots back up to 4 units remaining and the cheaper price.<BR><BR>
Now before some of you cry foul and point out that in Firefox I'm logged in and somehow my location/shipping was taken in consideration...BULLSH*. I logged out immediately after the screenshot and got the same result. In fact if you try a 3rd browser, Google's Chrome, you'll get yet a different price. Go ahead try it. I'll wait.<BR><BR>
In fact, after researching some more products, Chrome came in as cheapest, followed by Firefox, with IE being the most expensive for shopping the same products on amazon.com. Makes sense, no? IE is used by middle aged housewives and seniors who never heard of the other superior browsers. The same demographic that you can charge more without question or protest, unlike those pesky bloggers who keep meddling in other people's business.<BR><BR>
Happy Black Friday shopping.<BR><BR>Alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-2327531868292970182012-10-23T21:07:00.000-04:002012-10-23T21:07:59.242-04:00Wonderland eventNow I've written on <A HREF="http://budgetgta.blogspot.ca/2010/05/canadas-wonderland.html" target="_new">Wonderland</a> before, and I've written on <A HREF="http://budgetgta.blogspot.ca/2010/06/do-you-know-cpr.html" target="_new">CPR</A> before, but this time the two come together in a unique event in the GTA this week. This Thursday, October 25 you can get special discounted tickets for Wonderland, and their special Halloween Haunt shows, together with the regular ride attractions. The catch is you need to attend a special CPR event at the park a few hours before opening time in which a Guinness World Record attempt will be made - largest CPR training session in the world. Oh and you'll learn a little bit about CPR, mostly how important is to dial 911 as soon as possible. The real lessons take place in the classroom, so get out there and get certified for reals.
<BR><BR>
<center><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ApmPQDAzYyM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></CENTER><BR><BR>
Event starts around 5:30pm, park opens around 7pm until midnight. And to top it off a gorgeous and balmy 24C fall day awaits you. Buy your <A HREF="https://www.cprundead.ca/" target="_new">tickets</a> here.<BR><BR>
Cost: $15 for the event and full access to the park and its ridesAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-33971360479147496082012-10-15T21:55:00.002-04:002012-10-25T08:37:08.984-04:00Best Soups in TorontoI'm a soup fan. Anyone who knows me will tell you that if a day goes by without soup nearby I will completely freak out. What's not to love. It warms you up in the winter and cools you down in the summer (via the chillies you put in). It has a ton of vitamins from when the boiling process killed all the veggies swimming inside, drained them of all the vitamins and minerals and stored them into a heavenly broth that hits your body like a hefty dose of crack. And they come in a variety of shapes and forms, from watery to thick, from <A HREF="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=stoup" target="_new">stoups</a> to creams, from meaty to all veggies, from borscht's to consomme's. There's a million recipes and combinations and it's great because there is no right recipe for either one of them. Just throw some things (any things) into water and boil it down...that my friends, is soup. To me, it's one of life's necessities.
<BR><BR>
<center><img SRC="http://i.imgur.com/IN0xz.jpg" width=680 height=299 ALT="Mmm soup?"><br />Some choices are just impossible to make.</CENTER><BR><BR>
Toronto.com has posted a nice article with all the best soup joints in TO. You should <A HREF="http://www.toronto.com/article/750185--best-soup-in-toronto" target="_new">check it out</A>.<BR><BR>
Of course if we're speaking of soups, we cannot ignore the Japanese Noodle Houses. The ramen found in some of them is downright godly. You know the soup will be good for ya, when the menu asks for your fat content preference..regular fat, medium fat, or extra rich/fat. With the extra you'll need to down it fast, else your soup will go from a liquid state to a solid in a matter of minutes, as it cools down. Now that's flavor!<BR><BR>
The Star ran a recent article with the <A HREF="http://www.thestar.com/living/food/article/1218155--ramen-noodle-wars-in-toronto" target="_new">best Noodle joints</A> in the TO. We should consider ourselves extra fat lucky this year, as Kinton ramen just opened up and in my opinion it's the most authentic, with a great atmosphere and decent prices. Stay away from Momofuku, bad juju, bad soups. Now if we can get Vacouver's Hokkaido and Kintaro to open up shop here, we are set.<BR><BR>
Oh and if you're keeping count. Nothing beats homemade soup, so get busy and put some meat and veggies in a pot of water.<BR><BR>
Cost: much better than any entrees you'll get out there
Alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-80474570178293184072012-08-31T07:15:00.002-04:002012-08-31T07:17:58.549-04:00HMCS Ville de QuebecThe anti-sub war frigate <A HREF="http://www.navy.forces.gc.ca/villedequebec/1/1-s_eng.asp" target="_new">HMCS Ville de Quebec</a> will be visiting us today in Toronto harbour and the public has an opportunity to step aboard and take in this bad motherfucker. How bad is she? Well, just look at <A HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halifax_class_frigate#Weapons_systems" target="_new">its armament</a>. You can visit this bad girl today between 2-5pm and 6-8pm. She'll be open to the public again on Sunday Sept 2 from 1-5pm. The lady is anchored off by Corus Quay on the east side of the downtown harbour, but somehow I don't think anyone can miss it. It's the one sporting all the missiles.
<BR><BR>
<center><img SRC="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/92/US_Navy_101027-N-6632S-200_The_guided-missile_cruiser_USS_Gettysburg_%28CG_64%29_fires_a_Harpoon_anti-ship_missile_at_the_ex-USNS_Saturn_during_a_sinki.jpg" width=400 height=278 ALT="Navy Missile"><br />
<font size=1.8>Look at this baby purr.</font></CENTER><br /><BR>
Cost: Free
Alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-54462274413094337152012-08-24T18:23:00.002-04:002012-08-24T18:27:45.378-04:00Fan ExpoToronto's <A HREF="http://www.fanexpocanada.com/" target="_new">Fan expo</a> can be an interesting place for all stuff comics, sci fi, anime, horror, and games related. This weekend from Thursday to Sunday you can catch it downtown with friends or family. It seems this expo is growing bigger and bigger every year, and quite a number of celebrities are making appearances and signing autographs.<BR><BR>
And of course there's the <A HREF="http://www.damncoolpictures.com/2010/09/best-and-worst-of-street-fighter.html" target="_new">cosplay</a>...
<BR><BR>
<center><img SRC="
http://www.japanator.com/elephant//ul/user/5-5791-14666-mikucosplayhatsuneperfjpg-620x.jpg" width=350 height=242 ALT="Cosplay"><br />
<font size=1.8></font></CENTER><br /><BR>
Cost: $25-45 per day depending on the day of visitAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-76445144161804733492012-07-15T21:55:00.001-04:002012-08-24T17:45:55.946-04:00Timeplay (Revisited)<center><img SRC="
http://www.investtoronto.ca/InvestToronto/files/de/de6ba165-d498-4255-a0ed-904e233faf99.png" width=200 height=133 ALt="Timeplay"><br />
<font size=1.8></font></CENTER><br />
Earlier this year I was one of the first to review the latest kitsch, brought to you by Cineplex - <A HREF="http://www.timeplay.com/Home/" target="_new">Timeplay</a>. And it <A HREF="http://budgetgta.blogspot.ca/2012/02/timeplay-is-bogus.html" target="_new">bombed miserably</a>. And to tell you the truth I was a bit generous with my review. It was one of the worst moments of wasted time I have ever encountered.
<BR><BR>
Now, about 6 months later, I've decided to revisit this train wreck and purchased a movie ticket at one of Cineplex's fine locations. I've gotta say this previously declared disaster area that was ready to be sealed in nuclear waste containers and dropped to the bottom of the ocean, has actually significantly improved. No longer manned by 5-year olds (I presume), its content now at least passes for entertainment. Its games actually incorporate trivia and fun facts that reward movie buffs and strong reflexes and punishes the flock of bimbos randomly poking their mobile screens with their STD infested gel nails. Who knew that something challenging that requires knowledge and quick thinking makes the rewards that much enjoyable?
<BR><BR>
Now if you look at the product's <A HREF="http://www.timeplay.com/Home/" target="_new">homepage</a> it still has the same gay content that it originally launched with.
<BR><BR>
<center><img SRC="
http://i.imgur.com/9OcKE.jpg" width=400 height=183 ALt="Timeplay"><br />
<font size=1.8>For ages 1-3.</font></CENTER><br />
Press 1 for Male and 2 for Female? I've seen more effort from comatose patients fighting off an attempted hospital rape. But don't be discouraged, that's just leftover waste from 6 months ago. If the content I witnessed today is the standard nowadays, this should be a lot more fun and worth while trying. Give it a go, it's free.
<BR><BR>
Cost: Free - top 3 get rewarded with 100 scene points and other free stuffAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-86427016172943807372012-06-25T08:38:00.002-04:002012-06-25T08:39:03.229-04:00Euro 2012If you still don't have a spot reserved for the remaining Euro cup games, Carlsberg has set up various <A HREF="http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/carlsberg-brings-the-world-together-with-uefa-euro-2012-just-around-the-corner-157248775.html" target="_new">fan zones</a> around the city where you can have a cold one and enjoy the games. Aside from the usual pubs in Italy or Portugal towns, this is a good alternative where people will gather and cheer for their favorite teams.Alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-25184992050344707002012-05-23T07:47:00.002-04:002012-05-23T07:59:44.338-04:00MMOWGLY<a href="https://portal.mmowgli.nps.edu/" target="_new">MMOWGLY's</a> next project is finally here. I've been sitting here patiently on their waiting list since fall of last year and my invitation finally arrived in my inbox last week. What is MMOWGLY? A game. What kind of game? A real life game. It's basically an opportunity to work for the US Navy, but you don't need to be a US citizen and they don't pay you, but will gladly use your ideas. But don't take my word for it, here is the official description from the email:<br />
<br />
<i><b>WHAT'S A MMOWGLI?</b><BR>
MMOWGLI (massive multiplayer online wargame leveraging the internet) is an online game designed to find and collectively grow breakthrough solutions to some of our most urgent problems. In 2011, thousands of players contributed tens of thousands of ideas to turn the tide of global sea piracy. But the next problem for us to tackle is even more urgent: energy security as a national security issue.</i><br />
<br />
Last year the US Navy commission the public to play the game, get points, but at the same time help them in their quest to stop Somali sea pirates. What started as ideas and discussions on a computer screen, quickly morphed into actionable strategies and missions in the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piracy_in_Somalia" target="_new"">Gulf of Aden</a>.
This year the "game"'s theme is energy security and moving the US Navy away from non-renewable sources, such as oil. <a href="https://portal.mmowgli.nps.edu/" target="_new">Join me</a> on the virtual battlefield to make a difference.<br />
<br />
<br />
<center><img alt="Uncle Sam wants you" height="350" src="http://www.sonofthesouth.net/uncle-sam/images/navy-poster.jpg" width="258" /><br />
</center><br />
Cost: freeAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-69343778464836506892012-04-19T20:12:00.006-04:002012-04-19T20:26:23.373-04:00Climb the CN TowerIf you are in somewhat okay shape, why not <A HREF="https://webmedia.cstonecanada.com/ImageGalleryPro/mediaobjects/WWF/CN_TOWER_CLIMBS/splashPage.html" target="_new">climb the CN Tower</a>? Aside from bragging rights (to the other housewives, as you mingle in the laundry room), you can also help WWF Canada.<br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3In3cxB87na0TqsDfSzekQGWrPmepxmrbaDoE-9_uW3hM3KESWdatKnWflNnJCyp5rxS8Sko4jwv67-6UzSLb95gorMvB2Pfc1qbNnYz1m8BRQ4gG5i4ELwWG1YwWDRf1NleFfL1MrZs/s1600/rockbottom.jpg" width=300 height=232 ALt="WWE Rock bottom"><br />
<font size=1.8>Not this WWF!</font></CENTER><br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="
http://blog.cytalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/knut_berlin_polar_bear.jpg" width=300 height=223 ALt="Crying polar bear"><br />
<font size=1.8>This WWF!!!!!!!!!</font></CENTER><br />
<br />
Every year CN Tower organizes an event of walking up its steps from base to the top (*ahem*, I mean to the Skywalk Atrium which is a few houndred feet short of top). But, why split hairs? If you climb the stairs instead of taking the elevator, you are AWESOME! Not because you managed to go up a few steps Johnny, but because your contributions (fund raising) helped our animal friends. The <a HREF="http://www.wwf.ca" target="_new">WWF</a> is the main point of all of this, and whatever contributions they get, it helps to keep our furry friends non-extinct.<br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI52LtfTEdm6XnlFmhJbLIAVa76FCs3g7RJszHY1Aj6yfQD35X4-bu0IPRIDI1DC0-eqciYkUtX7-1lHIWVs3EAsUgqSGJzODbW0-UNaUJ69gxaXqW1KLIDKISAYpTeWwMLUkLJN3kTcx2/s1600/CN+Tower.jpeg" width=300 height=252 ALt="CN Tower Climb"><br />
<font size=1.8>This previously molested retard actually compared the CN Tower Climb with <a HREF="http://nicole-forrester.blogspot.ca/2011/10/reflecting-on-climbing-mount-everest.html" target="_new">Climbing Mount Everest</a>...</font></CENTER><br />
<br />
When - <b>This Saturday, April 21st, 2012</b><br />
<br />
Cost: $25 registration + $75 mandatory fundraiser for WWFAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-47292250729920814312012-04-02T07:48:00.002-04:002012-04-02T07:55:05.778-04:00All About Pets ShowApril 6-8 the <a HREF="http://www.allaboutpetsshow.com/consumers.html" target="_new">All About Pets Show</a> is coming to TO again. This is a chance to meet and talk to experts about your pet. Trainers, vets, breeders will all be in attendance. If you have kids this is a great family outing.<br />
<br />
Confirmed pets in attendance: Dogs, Cats, Various Reptiles, Birds, Mice/Rodents<br />
<br />
Unconfirmed pets: <a HREF="http://www.bobcat-lynx.com/" target="_new">Exotic cats (bobcats, lynxs)</a>, <a HREF="http://www.mary.cc/squirrels/unreleasable.htm" target="_new">Squirrels</a>, <a HREF="http://www.jandaexotics.com/Prairie_Dog.html" target="_new">Prairie dogs</a>, <a HREF="http://gianthamster.com/tag/for-sale/" target="_new">Capybaras</a>, <a HREF="http://www.sugargliderpetshop.com/Sugar_Gliders_.htm" target="_new">Sugar gliders</a>...this list can go on.<br />
<br />
Please note if you have a pet yourself you cannot bring it in, unless you are an exhibitor at the show, or unless your pet fits into your pocket.<br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="
http://artsonearth.com/www/images/uploads/blogger/_Xb5mh5BjcAo/SKA9N_X2IKI/AAAAAAAAAsg/uggvwlBRPms/s1600/1-Sugar-Glider-pix3.jpg" width=300 height=252 ALt="Sugar glider"><br />
<font size=1.8>Who's the little teenie, weenie, little cutie</font></CENTER><br />
<br />
Cost: $14 adults $10 kidsAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-54769025447653087022012-03-08T10:10:00.000-05:002012-03-08T10:10:39.198-05:00Soccer in TorontoThis is another warning or things to avoid in the GTA. Soccer in this city (or this country for that matter) is sadder than boo'ing at the special olympics. It's like in school when you watched the prissy, hoity-toity floozies being flocked onto the field and forced to take off their high heels and play soccer for the first time as part of gym class. You surround that field with stadium seating, a few cameras and a few dozen spectators (mostly families and wannabe hooligans) and you got the setting for last night's match between Toronto FC and LA Galaxy in the CONCACAF Champions League.<br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrLb2VpBLACcorhemjdqNBvCOm-MHmVJwgis2-qMVPjbP1qW89dWI9Q7v_dpIL-pDuRqZ_6LG2KHNAcbqoxseDdG0CkVrOPhSkl1Opp3yzkZkQRjJf0sIsKlP-n_6Cl1-0IVFvE_Yptsrg/s1600/sippola3.jpg" width=300 height=217 ALt="Major League Soccer"><br />
<font size=1.8>- So, gametime in 1hr, what the hell are we supposed to do?<BR>- Shit, I dunno. Follow the black guy I guess. At least he was on the Angola squad for the 06 World Cup.</font></CENTER><br />
<br />
Watching a game of <A HREF="http://www.mlssoccer.com/" target="_new">Major League Soccer</A> is like watching a synchronized event of seizure candidates. Scientists use clips of north american players dribbling the ball to treat insomnia cases and crystal meth addicts.<br />
<br />
If you need to satisfy your soccer craving, do yourself a favor and make it a point of interest on your next vacation trip to Europe or South America. Any country/city you visit in those continents will have a game going at least once a week between September and June (with a small break at Christmas). Even their minor league games will put on a show far superior to anything you get at BMO Field or any other MLS venue.<br />
<br />
Price: $35-$120/ticket or upward of $150/ticket when pretty boy Beckham comes to townAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-55659033914142629032012-02-04T10:38:00.006-05:002022-06-26T22:10:06.964-04:00TimePlay is BogusBack at the beginning of December I was one of the few ones who got to test the new screen interaction app put out by Cineplex <link intentionally removed to protect consumers>. I'm not sure how this project was spawned. Looking at the quality of the finished product, it was most likely some computer science college drop-out, who ended up selling popcorn at one of Cineplex's locations and decided, "Hey, why don't I bring my class project here and apply it to movie theatres. Since there's no grades here, I can't possibly get an F again".<br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumblarge_207/1195054316ml7c5R.jpg" width=150 height=225 ALt="Report fail"><br />
<font size=1.8>But I got geek skills, how can I fail in computers?</font></CENTER><br />
<br />
Well little Johnny drop-out was wrong. This little disaster of a project that the baboon management commitee at Cineplex decided to market is just a mess. Surprising as the concept sounds promising on paper.<br />
<br />
It's an app that you can download before going to the movies. Then once in the theatre you have that long gap before the movie starts with annoying ads and useless movie trivia. Why not make the screen interactive at its peak of boredom? So, in theory, this was supposed to be an app that lets movie goers interact with the screen and with other people in the hall, from their mobile devices. <br />
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Now what I envisioned was some cool Mario Kart type racing game on screen. Or some ultimate Mortal Kombat games between handheld users. Or even some interactive Sims type game, where on-screen you can go up to player, Jim, and spit in his face, or have your character go up to player Suzy and cock punch her in the face. That would've been a bit awkward once you realized Suzy was the middle aged woman next to your seat, and her slow turning glare towards your person would've sent you into Shamesville with a bullet train ticket ride.<br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="http://i.imgur.com/vQNaF.png" ALt="Timeplay"><br />
<font size=1.8>They couldn't even photoshop the product right. What an all around amateur job. (Shakes head)</font></CENTER><br />
<br />
Well I can announce this app has none of those. All this app does is spam more ads and commercials in your face. What you get is a giant static ad on screen before the coming attractions start, and you finger raping your mobile screen causes mini ripples on the big screen. Or you dragging your finger on your screen, again causes some dragging motion on screen. Your "ripples" are color coded so if 5 people in the theatre do the same thing, you'll see 5 colored ripples on the screen. At every single point in this interaction this message was very clear "I must buy Dove body lotion", which was the background image that I could "interact" with. If you give this "game" to your 2 year old to play with, he will slingshot the device back in your face and promptly attempt to call Child Services on this Tommy Tutone play phone. More shameless advertising I have not seen since the Superbowl, where the game is stopped every 2 minutes for a commercial break.<br />
<br />
Well, that was the beta testing period back in December, and I had hoped that things would have improved once it was fully released. However during the holidays I experienced the same crap. Don't be surprised if the app on your phone is loaded with adware, after all, companies paid quite a bit to Cineplex to allow movie goers to be bombarded with their products' ads.<br />
<br />
How can we fight back? Easy, just follow these simple steps, and once movie theatres realize how much of a hand we have in this, they will maybe treat us with more respect.<br />
<br />
1. Always show up for your movie 10 minutes late. Being on time or worse, early, gives theatres an audience of customers forced to watch their ads with the surround sound volume on and with their attention to the screen (well there's nothing else to do there). Don't worry, 10 min late will still get you on time for the coming attractions, but the theatres lose the audience for their many ads at the beginning.<br />
<br />
2. Stop buying concessions (popcorn, drinks, candy, nachos). Just don't do it. <a HREF="http://arstechnica.com/old/content/2006/01/5905.ars" target="_new">Your $6 bag of popcorn costs them 40 cents.</a> If you must chomp on something during the movie, do everyone a favor and bring from home or from some fast food joint. Just sneak it in and be done with it. This ain't the airport and the minimum wage kid who rips your ticket could not give a damn about it even if he does point to it. <br />
<br />
3. See your favorite movie in the first 10 days of opening time, never after. Most of the ticket sales in the first 10 days of the release go to the studio company. The longer the movie lingers in theatres, the less go to studios and more goes to Cineplex and theatre companies. By the 5th week theatres grab 85% of ticket sales, whereas at opening they only got maybe 15%. If you have to wait several weeks, then just wait a bit more and catch it on Netflix, Torrents, etc.<br />
<br />
4. Speaking of, sign up for <a HREF="http://www.netflix.com" target="_new">Netflix</a> and watch all your movies on your TV/computer/playstation. Be sure to google <a HREF="http://www.iphoneincanada.ca/how-to/hot-tip-watch-netflix-usa-titles-with-your-netflix-canada-account-via-vpn/" target="_new">how to use Netflix US and not the subpar Canadian version</a> which has far fewer movies for a more expensive price.<br />
<br />
Cost: App is free to download from istore, android storeAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-214723089793004522012-01-13T23:28:00.001-05:002012-01-13T23:30:38.153-05:00PaintballPaintball is a good activity that can be done indoors or outdoors. In a large metropolis like ours we are fortunate enough to have a lot of choices when it comes to this activity. Plenty of warehouses and empty fields have been transformed into paintball battlegrounds. I will talk about 3 of the most popular ones that I was fortunate enough to visit and a fourth that is next on the list.<br />
<table><tr><td align="center"><font size="3"><b>#1 Sgt Splatters </b></font></td><td></td><td></td></tr>
<tr><td><img SRC="http://www.sgtsplatters.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/sgtsplatters-004946-499x333.jpg" width=250 height=167 ALT="Sgt Splatters"></td><td></td><td valign="top"><b>Pros:</b> Large field in a realistic setting (cars, multiple storey accessible buildings). Good players which makes for good competition and good games. Half prices every monday.<br />
<br />
<b>Cons:</b> Area much, much darker than photo suggests. Blinding spotlights. Poor referee, teams always imbalanced.<br />
<br />
<b>Location:</b> Midtown TO <a HREF="http://mapof.it/sgt+splatters" target="_new">mapof.it/sgt+splatters</a></td></tr>
</table><br />
<table><tr><td align="center"><font size="3"><b>#2 Eastie Boyz </b></font></td><td></td><td></td></tr>
<tr><td><img SRC="http://www.eastieboyz.com/images/fieldgallery3_lrg.jpg" width=250 height=188 ALT="Eastie Boyz Paintball"></td><td></td><td valign="top"><b>Pros:</b> Good location for the western suburbs. Decent light over the field. Good referee trying to keep teams balanced.<br />
<br />
<b>Cons:</b> Expensive! Non-realistic battleground, those McDonalds playpen inflatables are completely ruining the atmosphere of WAR. Poor ventilation - it's a sauna inside. Weak weapons.<br />
<br />
<b>Location:</b> Etobicoke <a HREF="http://mapof.it/eastie+boyz+paintball" target="_new">mapof.it/eastie+boyz+paintball</a></td></tr>
</table><br />
<table><tr><td align="center"><font size="3"><b>#3 Paintball City </b></font></td><td></td><td></td></tr>
<tr><td><img SRC="http://www.newenglandclassics.com/media/site/noimage.png" width=250 height=170 ALT="Image not available"></td><td></td><td valign="top"><b>Pros:</b> Half price pretty much daily before 6PM. Friendly staff.<br />
<br />
<b>Cons:</b> Looks a little too dark on the battlefield.<br />
<br />
<b>Location:</b> Etobicoke close to airport <a HREF="http://mapof.it/paintball+city+toronto" target="_new">mapof.it/paintball+city+toronto</a></td></tr>
</table><br />
<table><tr><td align="center"><font size="3"><b>#4 Paintball Nation</b></font></td><td></td><td></td></tr>
<tr><td><img SRC="http://www.paintballnation.ca/miss-indoor/images/field/6.jpg" width=250 height=189 ALT="Paintball Nation Toronto"></td><td></td><td valign="top"><b>Pros:</b> To be tested<br />
<br />
<b>Cons:</b> To be tested<br />
<br />
<b>Location:</b> Mississauga <a HREF="http://mapof.it/paintball+nation+toronto" target="_new">mapof.it/paintball+nation+toronto</a></td></tr>
</table><br />
<br />
Now anyone have $300 so I can buy me a cool AK47 replica paintball gun???<br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="http://tembakburung.en.ecplaza.net/4.jpg" width=300 height=173 ALT="AK47 paintball"><br />
<font size="1.3">Oh baby!</FONT></CENTER><br />
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Cost: Around $30-50 rentals for everything (4-hr playtime). At least one of the above is always featured at half of those prices on groupon/wagjag/buytopia.Alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-56322349300064602412011-12-13T19:25:00.011-05:002011-12-13T20:04:40.186-05:005 "Insane" Gifts for Christmas (Made in Japan)Ok, we are smack dab in the middle of the Christmas shopping season and even if you don't celebrate the holiday, since maybe you are of a different religion, or just plain <a HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atheism" target="_new">don't believe in Christmas</a>, it seems that you're still being forced to shell out money and produce a gift, be it for a significant other, friend, or <a HREF="http://www.vancouversun.com/business/Corporate+Christmas+party+makes+comeback/5807345/story.html" target="_new">co-worker</a> (damn you secret Santa, why you paired me with the lonely weirdo and not the pretty blonde with the big rack?).<br />
<br />
So, whether you like it or not, you will be Christmas shopping this year. Well you have this week and next week to find something, so you better get on it. What's that? You don't know what to get? Har har har, yes that sounds a bit familiar. We've all encountered the two types of people that are impossible to shop for. <br />
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#1 The significantly wealthy individual (or couple) who are so filthy rich, they buy a new microwave whenever the timer reaches zero. They are so rich, they buy formal language training programs for their doorman, just so that he knows how to announce his guests in 20 different languages (and 10 regional dialects). They have so much cash, bank CEO's have wet dreams about them at night and their autographed posters on their bedroom walls. Now what do you get the man or woman or couple who have everything?<br />
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#2 The hopeless individual. I'm talking about the type that no matter what you get it's either no good for him/her or have no use for it. Elderly persons are often the protagonists in this category. They never go out of the house and they hate anything and everything. What can you possibly buy them that would make them happy? How about the loner living in his parent's basement who needs a personality upgrade just to raise his status to "mildly threatening"?<br />
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Here are 5 gifts that are guaranteed to please both groups. And to keep in with the theme of this blog, they are all inexpensive, and fit within most people's budget (except maybe the first one). Oh, and surprise, surprise...they all come from Japan. The batshit insane capital of the world. Enjoy.<br />
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<font size="3"><b>#1 Ear scope </b></font><br />
Cost: $165 usd<br />
<br />
Have you ever had that sensation that something was in your ear, but your stubby fingers could never quite reach it? Did you always aspire to become an Ear Nose and Throat doctor, but you are so dumb your parents were thrown in jail the moment you were born, out of concern of smuggling dangerous monkeys in a female's uterus? Did you think Q-tips are too 1920's and people would make fun of you cleaning your ears with a mini chimney sweeper's brush? Meet the Ear Scope. Now you can finally see what's in there <insert dramatic sound effect><br />
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<center><img SRC="http://www.endoscopeshop.com/img/coden/ear-scope-coden-7400-3.jpg" width=350 height=183 ALt="Ear Scope Japan"></CENTER><br />
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The woman is clearly brain dead from poking her ear a few too many times. It's like she discovered a whole new alien species living in there. Watch her remove that glob of wax she's been building in there (<a HREF="http://www.thaimedicalnews.com/importance-of-earwax-symptoms-excessive-earwax/2009/04/08/" target="_new">normally might I add</a>), put it in an incubator and refer to it from now on as "my little babies".<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3"><b>#2 Porn star juice </b></font><br />
Cost: $17 usd<br />
<br />
Oh dear, this is making me a little uncomfortable. I don't know if it's the surgeon's general warning on STD's present in a porn's star's actual juice, or common sense smacking me in the face with the back of its hand on why putting actual vaginal lubrication in a bottle and selling it is a bad thing for consumers.<br />
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<center><img SRC="http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/6341/sakiotsukalovejuiceloti.jpg" width=350 height=180 ALt="Japan love juice"></CENTER><br />
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Normally I would call BS the minute I saw this, but this being from Japan and all....I just don't know. You can <a HREF="http://www.kanojotoys.com/saki-otsuka-love-juice-lotion-p-846.html" target="_new">order it</a> yourself and try it out. Just don't give this to grandma or grandpa ok?<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3"><b>#3 Beer for children </b></font><br />
Cost: $1.7 usd / bottle<br />
<br />
Ah, those rich bastards you're shopping for have made an offspring and have a kid running around (more likely 4 or more since they are filthy rich and can afford the financial drain 4 or more kids brings). Well, introduce them to beer, why not?<br />
<br />
<center><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ELllgvfX23o" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></center><br />
<br />
Now when junior wants to play mom and day, he can actually get drunk and slap his "wife" around...which will get him well on its way to his first domestic disturbance by age 8, first DUI by age 10 and first aggravated assault by age 11. At 14 when he comes out of juvenile detention he can finally start his life as a wannabe thug too drunk to remember what he stole or how to run from the cops.<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3"><b>#4 Knee peeing pillow </b></font><br />
Cost: $26 usd<br />
<br />
This one is for the guys on your shopping list. Does this sound familiar: your best bro or cousin or other relative calls you in the middle of the night for a chat at Tim Hortons and he pours his soul out. "Dude", he says, "I need something to muffle my pee sounds when I go to the washroom...my wife/girl just doesn't understand how hard it is for us guys to pee from a significant height". "I mean, how am I supposed to conduct my field meetings on my cell, when everyone on the other line can hear my stream of urine hit the water of the bowl?". To which I reply..."have you ever tried hitting the top of the bowl with your stream..you know, the part just above the water level but below the rim of the toilet?". An awkward silence fills the room... But not for long. Meet the Pee Without Noise Stool.<br />
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<center><img SRC="http://www.japantrendshop.com/pictures/pee-without-noise-stool-models.jpg" width=400 height=303 ALt="Japan pee stool"></CENTER><br />
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To quote the product description "Kneeling on its soft cushions positions you at the exact right height to land your stream in the bowl at a much-reduced velocity and volume level." 'Nuff said.<br />
<br />
<br />
<font size="3"><b>#5 The poking box </b></font><br />
Cost: $85 usd<br />
<br />
The finger, truly this Christmas season you need to give the gift of the finger. That faithful companion does everything, from pointing to poking to scratching to insulting. Well, now you have one more thing to add to the list...penetrating. No, I don't mean THAT, you sicko. I mean sticking your finger inside an entertainment unit in order to grope and tickle and do other perversions to an animated pixelated critter.<br />
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<center><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/A6vYd9CxH7s" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></CENTER><br />
<br />
Just take a look at that. The money shot comes around 0:10 when the girl almost wets herself at the thought of finger raping that crudely drawn fictional character displayed on screen. She starts finger fucking the unit with such an enthusiasm that video game characters declared it an official national day of mourning.<br />
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Happy holidays everyone and here's to finding that perfect gift for that special someone!Alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-90827196928404371452011-12-10T22:52:00.004-05:002011-12-10T23:09:15.512-05:00Police AuctionsSince we are all on a tight budget here, what with Christmas shopping around the corner, a nice little well kept secret in the neighborhood has been ye old police auctions. The police is pretty much operating like a mafia, shaking down people, coming into a wealth of goods and merchandise that they later fence off for well below street value.<br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="http://assets.gcstatic.com/u/apps/asset_manager/uploaded/2010/11/kent-police-teddy-bear-3-1268922397-view-0.jpg" width=300 height=224 ALt="Police teddy"><br />
<font size=1.8>Psst...I got a dozen fresh teddy bears we confiscated from the orphanage.<br />
2 for $5 or 5 for $10.</font></CENTER><br />
<br />
See when the local police do a raid, take down a meth lab, or accidently open fire on a group of hippies holed up in an abandoned house, all of the victims' belongings automatically and magically become the property of Toronto's finest. After hoarding up stuff and seized property for months on end, their storage areas overflow and thus set up an auction to get rid of all the unwanted items (that the officers deemed not good enough to take home to their families and friends), and make some sweet $$$ along the way. Well, the good news is that the cash goes straight to local charities.<br />
<br />
The good news for us, the consumer, is that, just like shopping at Walmart, we don't really care where the stuff came from (be it a a Fillipino in a warehouse putting our iphone together, or a crack whore in Scarborough busted with 3 phones in one hand and a pipe in the other). We just want that damn phone damnit, and we demand we pay the absolute minimum for it. Who cares about its history and how it got onto our hands. If it works and we paid next to nothing for it, ha, wait till I tell my buddies and laugh in their dumbass face, after they bought the same shit from Rogers stores at 300% markup price.<br />
<br />
Thus police auctions were invented.<br />
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<center><img SRC="http://cdn.mgsrvr.com/fuzzypc/images/content/Police_Confiscate_Escalade.jpg" width=300 height=240 ALt="Police confiscate"><br />
<font size=1.8>Mine now bitch.</font></CENTER><br />
<br />
I recently attended the <a HREF="http://www.drps.ca/internet_explorer/whatsnew/whatsnew_view.asp?ID=20625" target="_new">Durham Police</A> auction, a cheeky little auction that featured dozens and dozens of seized bikes, power tools, electronics and a bunch of other stuff. Most, if not all of the items started bidding at 1c and based on demand you could get an almost new 3D TV for $20 or $2000 if you were bidding against some brown or chinese entrepreneur who frequently attends all of the police auctions to buy and resell the goods on ebay. <br />
<br />
Speaking of, the rest of the police forces in the GTA have their own ebay site up. I have it <a HREF="http://stores.ebay.ca/Police-Auctions-Canada" target="_new">bookmarked</a> and you should too, as it's great for the holiday season shopping. Description is dead accurate, they don't shy away from calling a crappy item, crappy, and there's no need for delivery charges, as you can pick up most of the items won at a local address in Toronto. Police forces that dump all of their loot on this ebay store includes Toronto's metro, Halton, Hamilton and Owen Sound. Happy holiday shopping. And try and have a good story when you hand over the recently won 50 cent blood stained teddy bear to your nephew. "No, little fella, it's wasn't taken from a gang related drive-by shooting...where did a little guy like you come up with such a crazy idea...it's from Santa, who personalizes every toy with a little red marker, so you know it's very special and from the heart."<br />
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<center><img SRC="http://www.realworldimage.com/images/photos_med/rcmp-police-stolen-vehicle-investigation-british-columbia-canada-crime-work-men-stock-image-library-gary-moore-photo_18968.jpg" width=300 height=205 ALt="Police confiscate"><br />
<font size=1.8>Yo, let's dump this shit on ebay. I need to renovate my basement.</font></CENTER><br />
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Cost: FreeAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-73847221907184265632011-11-22T17:04:00.009-05:002011-12-10T23:04:07.734-05:00Meet Walter IsaacsonYou've got less than 2hrs to meet Walter Isaacson who will make an appearance today at 7PM at Indigo Manulife Centre 55 Bloor St W. (in Toronto). If you don't know who he is, he's the writer of the Steve Jobs biography. <br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="http://www.financialpost.com/opinion/business-insider/5596872.bin?size=620x465" width=300 height=225 ALt="Steve Jobs"><br />
<font size=1.8>This is Stevie Jobs.</font></CENTER><br />
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For those of you who had no clue wtf this Walter guy is (until I told you just now), then go on and carry on with your lives. Walter Isaacson is nonetheless a well established journalist and author, who had unprecedented access to an innovator in the technology industry and thus was able to capture a lot of details about Steve Jobs' life. For the rest of you fanbois who take it to the extreme with the apple products, when you come home you can rub one out on his signature, then make sure to remind us in your facebook status update how much superior and cool your apple device is and how those haters and non-believers are stuck in the ye old century.<br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/2954/jesusor.jpg" width=300 height=249 ALt="Jesus blackberry"><br />
<font size=1.8>And Jesus said to his followers: Thou shalt not type...wait a sec...not another freeze. <br />
Time to move into the 1st century and get me one of those cool new iphones with an <i>s</i> at the end.</font></CENTER><br />
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Cost: FreeAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-65306782863595802622011-11-15T17:36:00.003-05:002011-11-15T17:38:37.325-05:00Make me a starSo you want to get discovered eh? You dream of your ugly mug to dawn tv screens and catwalks and billboards everywhere? And you wish to do so without being cast as lead role in something called "Debbie does East Brampton" or "The Sausagefest Reunion 2 - Backdoor Shenanigans"? Well you are in luck. You have three days where all the big shots from Hollywood, New York, Paris and all the other fancy city names congregate in the Toronto area for a series of auditions and interviews. Do you dream of being on something like American Idol, but are not quite at the same level of retardation and annoyance? This event is for you. Do you dream of modeling for magazines and various ad products and are not quite as fugly as you think? This even is for you. Do you dream of staring in a motion picture or TV series? Wait, that's not really a dream if dirt like this can get airtime.<br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="http://electric949.com/blogs/media/blogs/jingerizzy//.jersey_shore_men.jpg" width=300 height=199 ALt="Douchebags"><br />
<font size=1.8>On your TV right now. You may want to get your cable box tested for STDs.</font></CENTER><br />
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Well with the scouts coming to TO, all of your dreams have been answered. Talent agents from all over the US and Europe will be in attenadance and all you need to do is show up. No resume required, no photos, no fancy songs and demo tapes. Just show up and be yourself. And for all the ladies in attendance, honey you need to be drop dead gorgeous or else it's just wasted time, competition is much fierce for the women. Age 4 and up.<br />
<br />
These folks were discovered in the same manner by the same event. It could be YOU!<br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="http://www.homorazzi.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/garrett-hedlund-tron.jpg" width=300 height=210 ALt="garrett hedlund"><br />
<font size=2>Garrett Hedlund star of blockbuster <a HREF="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1104001/" target="_new">Tron.</a></font></CENTER><br />
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<center><img SRC="http://0.tqn.com/d/scifi/1/0/p/8/0/-/Falling-Skies-Cast-Promo-Photos-falling-skies-18274171-2048-1536.jpg" width=300 height=225 ALt="drew roy"><br />
<font size=2>Drew Roy star of the sci-fi TV series <a HREF="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1462059/" target="_new">Falling Skies.</a></font></CENTER><br />
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<center><img SRC="http://www.sassisamblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Bronze_Goddess_Summer_2010.jpg" width=300 height=189 ALt="hilary rhoda"><br />
<font size=2>Hilary Rhoda, <a HREF="http://www.esteelauder.com/index.tmpl" target="_new">Estee Lauder</a> model.</font></CENTER><br />
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<b>The Details:</b><br />
Tue Nov 15 - Markham, ON <br />
Delta Markham Hotel - 50 East Valhalla Drive Markham, ON L3R 0A3 <br />
Truffle 1-3 Ballroom 5:30PM and 7:30PM<br />
<br />
Wed Nov 16 - Rexdale, ON <br />
Marriott Toronto Airport - 901 Dixon Rd. Rexdale, ON M9W 1J5 <br />
Ballroom 5:30PM and 7:30PM<br />
<br />
Thu Nov 17 - Toronto, ON <br />
Pantages Hotel & Spa-Toronto Centre - 200 Victoria Street Toronto, ON M5E 1E1 <br />
Ballroom 5:30PM and 7:30PM<br />
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The agencies will only be here for three days before heading back to the states so make the most of it. All meeting times/locations are identical so showing up to more than one is useless and quite possibly subject to <a HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stalking" target="_new">Section 264 of the Criminal Code of Canada</a>. Again, no need to bring anything except a smile and dress as you would to match your personality. One suggestion is something smart that makes you stand out of the crowd, but not too flashy....as there will be 1000 other monkeys surrounding you dressed in suits. The women need not show excessive skin, that dirty thong can pop out of your jeans all night long, if you have the mug of a mule the only sure thing to go down that night is your self-esteem.<br />
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Cost: FreeAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-79314544503234807372011-11-10T19:30:00.002-05:002011-11-10T19:36:02.974-05:00The Successful Focus Group ConsultantAs winter rolls upon us, so do the indoor activities. One popular activity in the GTA nowadays is participating in <a HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focus_group" target="_new">focus groups</a>. However, one may think it's very tough to get a job in those focus groups. Actualy it's very easy, just remember one thing...anonymity is king. This is the only job where there are no in-person interviews, meaning the screening is always done online or over the phone. That gives you a huge advantage, as without the embarrassment of being caught lying in front of a live person, and without any consequences for failure, you are free to manipulate and spin the interviewers around your fingers.<br />
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Let your imagination run wild and always give the answers they want to hear.<br />
<br />
Here is an example of a job posting looking for focus group participants:<br />
<font color="#0000FF">Focus Group seeks Males & Females Ages 35 - 64 for a 1 hour discussion about SUVs. <br />
Preliminary Qualifications:<br />
- males and females<br />
- ages 35 -64<br />
- have not participated in any focus group discussions / interviews (with any company) within the past 6 months<br />
- you own a 2008 or later model SUV<br />
- you own one of the following models: Nissan, Mercedes, BMW, Audi, Ford, Honda, Hyundai, KIA, Dodge, Toyota<br />
- household income at least $75,000 </font><br />
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*GASP* Now I can tell you, as a poor white young Canadian boy I only qualify as a "male" above and that's about it. All of the other bullet points completely disqualify me. Oh noes! There goes my paycheque.<br />
<br />
<center><img SRC="http://kennyjonesradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/on-hold-kenny-jones-radio.jpg" width=200 height=233 ALt="AAAHHH"><br />
<font size=1.8>DAMN YOU MOTHER FU....ERS!!!!.</font></CENTER><br />
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Now hold on a minute. I need that money damnit! Now their job is to find people in that specific demographic group. My job as the Canadian consumer is to take their money and get paid. So here is what a smooth operator sees when the the above "qualifications" are disclosed to him/her:<br />
<font color="#0000FF"><br />
- males and females</font> Well I gotta be at least one of those...Check!<br />
<font color="#0000FF">- ages 35 -64</font> Ok so I'm 5 yrs younger. Quick thinking..let my beard grow, get some aging lines by squinting at all times, put some old grandpa glasses on and choose an outfit that my dad acquired in 1976. Check!<br />
<font color="#0000FF">- have not participated in any focus group discussions / intereviews (with any company) within the past 6 months</font> Use an alias. Middle names work great. Ethnic names do too. If any part of your alias in on your drivers license, you can switch them up at will. Check!<br />
<font color="#0000FF">- you own a 2008 or later model SUV</font> Crap, mine is 2007 and not an SUV. I could change the registration title but all those damn pesky security features prevent a scan/print. Now what? Grab a DSLR, shoot a hi res image of the registration, print, scan, change model/year - find appropriate font to match, print, cut out..BAM! New title for a fictitious vehicle. Just dont show it to any cop and you'll be golden (that's illegal btw so don't do it!). Now, for my focus group purposes it's improvisation so...check!<br />
<font color="#0000FF">- you own one of the following models: Nissan, Mercedes, BMW, Audi, Ford, Honda, Hyundai, KIA, Dodge, Toyota</font> See above..change registration. Check!<br />
<font color="#0000FF">- household income at least $75,000</font> Well mine is one bajillion gajillion dollars...try and check that one out. Check!<br />
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Well that was easy. Improvisation, quick thinking, and imagination will give you access to all of those focus groups that are not quite in your demographic group. If there's two (2) things that you must remember, they are:<br />
<br />
<center><font size=2.5><b>1. "It's not a lie...if you believe it"!</b></font><BR><br />
<img SRC="http://img.ezinemark.com/imagemanager2/files/30004254/2011/02/2011-02-23-10-54-01-5-whenever-pinocchio-tells-lie-his-nose-grows-so-lo.jpeg" width=200 height=194 ALt="Pinochio lie"><br />
<font size=1.8></font></CENTER><br />
<br />
<center><font size=2.5><b>2. "You look down, they know you're lying and up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make them laugh. They've got to like you then forget you the moment you've left the room. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances... "!</b></font><BR><br />
<img SRC="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhnv28sxuz1qdifns.jpg" width=185 height=149 ALt="Rusty Oceans 11"><br />
<font size=1.8></font></CENTER><br />
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Cost: $75-200 per jobAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3551572019448687453.post-1993286148498207552011-10-24T20:23:00.003-04:002012-10-15T22:18:07.329-04:00ScreemersHalloween...oh yes, has it been another year already? I've already covered this event <a HREF="http://budgetgta.blogspot.com/2010/10/helloween.html" target="_new">before</a>, but given the important stature of it, I think it deserves a sequel. After all, all horror movies do, especially <a HREF="http://www.seattlepi.com/ae/tv/tvguide/article/Paranormal-Activity-3-Becomes-Best-Horror-Movie-2232765.php" target="_new">this-a-one</a>. Damn, that's where the money is. Shaky home-cam movies. I wish I were a producer on that-a-one. Oh well, time will come, sooner or later, time will come.<br />
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In the meantime, how does one spend halloween? Well I suggest starting the night with a nice movie. Not horror, not zombie re-makes, not slasher Scream-type cheesy crap, but a true nail-bitting suspensful flick. One that has you climbing the walls with anticipation. One that you can watch in the dark, with the lights off and with your heart jumping out of your chest. I think this year's <a HREF="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1703199/" target="_new">Grave Encounters</A> is the perfect fit. I never felt more scared in my own home.<br />
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Then to top off the night, I'd suggest heading out to <a HREF="http://www.screemers.ca" target="_new">Screemers</a>. They really went to town making sure your experience is as scary as it can get. Also to top it off they have a nice amuzement park carney show that, around midnight, feels a whole lot different than Wonderland. I vividly recall the Ferris wheel carney and his maniacal laugh, not letting us down even when we threatened a litigation suit. Damn, he was an evil SOB.<br />
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And then there's the zero gravity <a HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADhFNUh5UZU" target="_new">Gravitron</A>. This thing is truly the spawn of Satan, a perfect fit for Halloween. This little contraption generates more vomit per cubic inch than a headshot of Sarah Jessica Parker.<br />
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<center><img SRC="http://www.bestcelebrityhairstyles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Hair-5.JPG" width=250 height=333 ALt="Sarah Jessica Parker"><br />
<font size=1.8>Quick, give me a bucket.</font></CENTER><br />
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Here's one tip for the rookies: DO NOT, under any circumstances, hold your girl in your arms. The G-forces of the ride will multiply her weight by 5. So if you have a cow for a girlfriend, then you sir will be crushed to an untimely death. I came out of that ride with a new-found respect for oxygen, the sweet, sweet O2 that we all take for granted. Is that irony..that I was almost crushed to death at a Halloween festival? Well, visitor beware. It's all fun and games until you realize something is off...just a little.<br />
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<center><img SRC="http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs32/f/2008/204/8/b/Nan__Petite_Ladyboy_2_by_anonsailor.jpg" width=250 height=376 ALt="Ladyboy?"><br />
<font size=1.8>This 'lady', something is off...</font></CENTER><br />
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Cost: $23.50/ticketAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12224212054388654834noreply@blogger.com0