Jul 10, 2013

Jet ski

For those of us on a budget we cannot (and probably will never) afford to have our very own personal watercraft. Fortunately a new up and coming company opened shop in Toronto and rents our their watercrafts to clients with a tight budget. Exclusive Sport Rentals gives you the opportunity to have a lot more fun this summer. But "fun" is a subjective term.

Jet ski sexy seadoo

Jet ski sexy seadoo
Safety clip key not attached to body

Jet ski sexy seadoo

Now you may not always have $200 in your pocket to spend on a jetski, but fortunately they have a ton, no really, one of the biggest selection of watercrafts and summer outdoor equipment and rentals from fishing boats and ATVs to the more docile kayaks, canoes, and paddleboards - the newest fad in our fair city.

The newest sport for middle aged women.

They have promotions throughout the season, especially in the off-season and during holidays, so check them out. Go enjoy our lakes (we have plenty of em), our trails (we have plenty of em), our fresh air (plenty of that too), and our wildlife (plenty of it as well, just ran over a squirrel again yesterday). I may have bashed on Canada quite a bit over the years, but America junior turns out has plenty of positives as well, and keeping optimistic is what us mother canuckers do.

Meanwhile in Egypt....

Hmm tough choice for vacation this summer.

Cost: varies

Night Market is a nice family friendly option in the GTA, especially when compared to this, so dads everywhere can rejoice and bring their young'uns. Those worthy of the name dad. There are always exceptions:

The exception.

The main attraction at the Night Market should be the food. Street food! 100+ food vendors. That would be enough to satisfy anyone's appetite. Or for Queen Latifah's dietitian enough to get her fired for trying to starve the Queen to death.

Pictured here sporting that come here shemale look.

There's also a Truck Pull race for those who think hanging out with their queer friend in a bedroom browsing web cam chat rooms and flashing gang signs with kitten whiskers painted on their faces is too pointless.

No, really.

Cost: Free

May 10, 2013

Swingers Party

Warning: objects may appear sexier
than they are after 6 beers

Toronto is fortunate to host a number of swinger parties each year. This scene is so popular in this city that it has multiple clubs offering swingers parties on a weekly basis. Every weekend you can go and unwind and have some fun with your fellow swingers. If you are not a solo male you can go as you please to any of these parties, solo guys have to work harder to get accepted. Expect it to be safe, controlled and professionally ran. In fact they have become so popular, this year Toronto will have it's own version of Hedonism resort at one of Ontario's lake cottages.

For a limited time this May, the O-Zone club in Etobicoke has reduced cover charges (about 30% off) so interested couples can go and find out just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Cost: $40-60/person cover

Mar 5, 2013

Target Canada

Target logo
Welcome bro.

Today the first Target Canada stores opened up in Ontario. In a country where retail monopoly is synonymous with "the true north strong and free", I for one am happy to see one more US giant come and shake things up, bringing U.S. discounts that make America the true land of opportunity. We've come a long way from having just 3 retailers in the entire country (bay, zellers, eaton's), 3 telecom companies (bell, rogers, telus), and 3 fast food joints (have no clue which, but a lot less than the choices we have today).

Now don't expect prices at Target Canada to be on par with Target US, despite identical products and identical cost of manufacturing. The first words out of the spokesperson's mouth were plenty of excuses why Canadians should pay more. "In Canada, we can source the material for just the same price they can in the States. The difference is in the labour cost. Minimum wage higher, there are more public holidays, for instance, to be paid for out of sales," he said. I put this quote into Bing to translate it but all it spit back was something about my momma and how Google sucks, so let me do the translation for you: "In Canada, we can sodomize the people a lot easier without those pussies fighting back, so we can afford to charge more for flimsy reasons". But I'm used to this garbage after seeing Walmart, Amazon, Best Buy, Newegg pull the same shit.

Bottom line is that there's more competition and that's a good thing. They are somewhat on par with walmart and even though we pay more at Canada's walmarts, I'm pleased with their stores, selection, and prices.

Cost: See walmart

This will be the last weekend left to enjoy Niagara Falls' Festival of Lights. For families and young ones you can take a day off and let the kids enjoy the lighting displays. If it's a romantic gateway, you can still enjoy the lights from the ice skating rink at TD Rink at the Brink. You can have an evening with your loved one on the ice, followed by a nice round of cocoa someplace warm, preferably after 10pm near the falls and the fireworks show.

Just remember to not fall prey to the extra (voluntary) taxes that many business in the Niagara region will try to levy on you. Be a savy consumer, read this comprehensive CBC article, and don't take shit from noone. If the service was spectacular leave a big tip. If they try to gouge you and disguise the "destination marketing fee" then reply politely they can "shove that fee right up their ass"!

Festival cost: free

Dec 25, 2012

Boxing Day

Each year Canadians are duped into thinking they can save big money on boxing days deals. Each year the sales get lamer and lamer. For something that started as a Black Friday counterpart to our southern neighbours' big sale extravaganza, it has turned shittier and shittier with each passing year. When comparing the two, boxing day is like the gay Robin to US's black Friday Batman. It's like the little engine that could, except it doesn't and it gets molested by its creepy uncle. It's a "holiday" that tried hard and fails miserably. It's like Old Yeller, only no one seems to be willing to pull the trigger on this rabid infestation.

For every "door crasher" and its limited quantity of "only 3 available" a bunch of lame 15% sales litter the store aisles.

Originally I was hopping to hold out on a laptop purchase for this *ahem* sale holiday. I'm very pleased that I didn't. Every Boxing Day sale observed so far equals to or is quite weaker than regular season sales. Here are some of the flyers for tomorrow's big day:

Best Buy flyer

NCIX Sale Catalog

Future Shop flyer

Sears flyer

Tiger Direct flyer

Kayla is not impressed this year.

Cost: Just your wasted time

Nov 13, 2012

Black Friday

Update Nov 14 - Apparently after the cyber shit hit the fan and several sites reported on this, Amazon today quietly corrected the "problem". You stay classy Amazon, see you when the next "bug" is discovered.

With Black Friday almost here some smart shoppers will no doubt think about some of that dreaded Christmas shopping. And with US retailers dominating the best deals, border shopping seems like the smart choice. However the savvy shopper should be forewarned - few retailers are out to give you the best deal on Black Friday. A lot of them seem to be content on screwing you over.

So here I am, browsing our neighborhood Amazon store, when I stumbled on this little gem. Same product, same time/minute of day, and somehow the prices are different based on the browser that I'm using.

Here's the product in Firefox.

Internet Explorer
And here it is in Internet Explorer.

Now in Firefox above, the toothbrush is $153.25, yet when you pull up the same toothbrush in Internet Explorer it magically transforms into $171.99. Not only that, the units left drop from 4 remaining to only 2!!! Amazing. Switching back to Firefox it shoots back up to 4 units remaining and the cheaper price.

Now before some of you cry foul and point out that in Firefox I'm logged in and somehow my location/shipping was taken in consideration...BULLSH*. I logged out immediately after the screenshot and got the same result. In fact if you try a 3rd browser, Google's Chrome, you'll get yet a different price. Go ahead try it. I'll wait.

In fact, after researching some more products, Chrome came in as cheapest, followed by Firefox, with IE being the most expensive for shopping the same products on amazon.com. Makes sense, no? IE is used by middle aged housewives and seniors who never heard of the other superior browsers. The same demographic that you can charge more without question or protest, unlike those pesky bloggers who keep meddling in other people's business.

Happy Black Friday shopping.

Oct 23, 2012

Wonderland event

Now I've written on Wonderland before, and I've written on CPR before, but this time the two come together in a unique event in the GTA this week. This Thursday, October 25 you can get special discounted tickets for Wonderland, and their special Halloween Haunt shows, together with the regular ride attractions. The catch is you need to attend a special CPR event at the park a few hours before opening time in which a Guinness World Record attempt will be made - largest CPR training session in the world. Oh and you'll learn a little bit about CPR, mostly how important is to dial 911 as soon as possible. The real lessons take place in the classroom, so get out there and get certified for reals.

Event starts around 5:30pm, park opens around 7pm until midnight. And to top it off a gorgeous and balmy 24C fall day awaits you. Buy your tickets here.

Cost: $15 for the event and full access to the park and its rides