Today I had the privilege of understanding the thought process behind a new advertisement from a large financial firm. Now the ad is targeting online investors who use brokerage accounts to place their trades. This company, let's call it Bank X, wants to appeal more to traders out there, and other investors holding accounts at various other institutions. So the geniuses from the marketing department, concocted a bunch of ads and then hired me to provide valuable feedback. Upon seeing these ads for the first time, I exploded into uncontrolled laughter, wondering just WTF does it take to get those guys' jobs.
Now these are absolutely real ads that I had to rate in the order of preference and other factors. I have not modified the ads in any way, except for blurring the company name and giving my own input as to the most probable website those cartoon characters are looking at, while promoting the banking products.
So for each shot I was presented, I took a brief look at it. After coming to from my laughter blackout I began to make a list of what are the most likely websites on those guys' computer screens based on their expressions. The results are presented below:
#1
Look at this retard. I mean...look at him. He looks like a freakin mental patient. Is this how the bank sees us? As a bunch of retards tapping the mouse button ad-nauseam? Looks like they plucked some big brother reject from the agency, stuck him in front of a computer, put some Scooby Doo cartoons on, and took the snapshot.
#2
This guy brings the word "creepy" to a whole new level. He kinda looks like a stoner, who just had a fat joint and is looking for the Pizza Hut delivery website. However my money is on the "creepy father" type, who likes to use the word "young" in all of his Google searches. Looks like a typical Sunday morning for this guy, where his wife and kids are still asleep, but Mr. Rogers here woke up early, got his morning paper and coffee, and is now ready to browse the young kids of America website. He and the aforementioned Pedo Bear have a lot in common.
#3
This asian guy is clearly up to no good, and judging from his expression, as soon as he mastered the pipe-bomb technique he will use it on his next opportunity. Life clearly pissed this guy off, and he's ready for revenge.
By now I think they realized what a disaster it was to have guys stand in front of a monitor that we are not allowed to see, with the absolute most ridiculous or creepy expression on their faces. So going forward we are finally revealed the monitor screen. Ahem! Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.
#4
Meet Billy! He's a fresh divorcee, who's now such a loser, that he needs to stalk his ex-wife on a daily basis to make sure she's at the same level of loserness as he is. Ah, God bless that Facebook.
#5
Ah, the white guy with the eyelids half closed and the slight frown. He's either A) stoned to death and totally spaced out, or B) most likely a little pervert with a big secret. This guy's typical day involves shopping for stilettos, calling escort agencies, then putting on a mask and "Baaaah'ing" like a sheep while the mistress steps on his sack with a 5" heel. Life is goood! Baaaah!
#6
And finally we have the angry chinese father, always keeping an eye on his children. How dare they go to the mall, when's it's math time. "You go learn now, be good doctor for wealthy gweilo!".
BONUS
Here's one that I think was left off the cutting room floor. Even though I found it in the company's trash bin, I managed to retrieve it and show it to you. This one is tricky, because they almost let one slip through depicting a woman placing online trades (gasp!), before it was tossed in the garbage with unbridled enthusiasm. I think the dialogue in the boardroom went something like this:
VP Marketing Guy #1 - A'ight, so the last one we have here is "White female placing trades".
VP Marketing Guy #2 - What? Are you sure?
Marketing Director Guy - Yea, are you sure about that?
VP Marketing Guy #1 - Umm..yea I've no clue how this one got in here. I mean female traders...seriously?
Marketing Director Guy - Haha, good one sir!
VP Marketing Guy #1 - Well, it's not a total loss. That chick is totally doable, har har, am I right Suzie? Eh? Would you make out with her if both of you were drunk, Suz?
Assistant Suzie *Sigh*
Marketing Director Guy - Haha, OMFG, that was so funny! You go buddy! Can I have some days off now, these 6 hrs days are killing me.
1 comments:
haha good post!
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