Back at the beginning of December I was one of the few ones who got to test the new screen interaction app put out by Cineplex <link intentionally removed to protect consumers>. I'm not sure how this project was spawned. Looking at the quality of the finished product, it was most likely some computer science college drop-out, who ended up selling popcorn at one of Cineplex's locations and decided, "Hey, why don't I bring my class project here and apply it to movie theatres. Since there's no grades here, I can't possibly get an F again".

But I got geek skills, how can I fail in computers?

Well little Johnny drop-out was wrong. This little disaster of a project that the baboon management commitee at Cineplex decided to market is just a mess. Surprising as the concept sounds promising on paper.

It's an app that you can download before going to the movies. Then once in the theatre you have that long gap before the movie starts with annoying ads and useless movie trivia. Why not make the screen interactive at its peak of boredom? So, in theory, this was supposed to be an app that lets movie goers interact with the screen and with other people in the hall, from their mobile devices.

Now what I envisioned was some cool Mario Kart type racing game on screen. Or some ultimate Mortal Kombat games between handheld users. Or even some interactive Sims type game, where on-screen you can go up to player, Jim, and spit in his face, or have your character go up to player Suzy and cock punch her in the face. That would've been a bit awkward once you realized Suzy was the middle aged woman next to your seat, and her slow turning glare towards your person would've sent you into Shamesville with a bullet train ticket ride.


They couldn't even photoshop the product right. What an all around amateur job. (Shakes head)

Well I can announce this app has none of those. All this app does is spam more ads and commercials in your face. What you get is a giant static ad on screen before the coming attractions start, and you finger raping your mobile screen causes mini ripples on the big screen. Or you dragging your finger on your screen, again causes some dragging motion on screen. Your "ripples" are color coded so if 5 people in the theatre do the same thing, you'll see 5 colored ripples on the screen. At every single point in this interaction this message was very clear "I must buy Dove body lotion", which was the background image that I could "interact" with. If you give this "game" to your 2 year old to play with, he will slingshot the device back in your face and promptly attempt to call Child Services on this Tommy Tutone play phone. More shameless advertising I have not seen since the Superbowl, where the game is stopped every 2 minutes for a commercial break.

Well, that was the beta testing period back in December, and I had hoped that things would have improved once it was fully released. However during the holidays I experienced the same crap. Don't be surprised if the app on your phone is loaded with adware, after all, companies paid quite a bit to Cineplex to allow movie goers to be bombarded with their products' ads.

How can we fight back? Easy, just follow these simple steps, and once movie theatres realize how much of a hand we have in this, they will maybe treat us with more respect.

1. Always show up for your movie 10 minutes late. Being on time or worse, early, gives theatres an audience of customers forced to watch their ads with the surround sound volume on and with their attention to the screen (well there's nothing else to do there). Don't worry, 10 min late will still get you on time for the coming attractions, but the theatres lose the audience for their many ads at the beginning.

2. Stop buying concessions (popcorn, drinks, candy, nachos). Just don't do it. Your $6 bag of popcorn costs them 40 cents. If you must chomp on something during the movie, do everyone a favor and bring from home or from some fast food joint. Just sneak it in and be done with it. This ain't the airport and the minimum wage kid who rips your ticket could not give a damn about it even if he does point to it.

3. See your favorite movie in the first 10 days of opening time, never after. Most of the ticket sales in the first 10 days of the release go to the studio company. The longer the movie lingers in theatres, the less go to studios and more goes to Cineplex and theatre companies. By the 5th week theatres grab 85% of ticket sales, whereas at opening they only got maybe 15%. If you have to wait several weeks, then just wait a bit more and catch it on Netflix, Torrents, etc.

4. Speaking of, sign up for Netflix and watch all your movies on your TV/computer/playstation. Be sure to google how to use Netflix US and not the subpar Canadian version which has far fewer movies for a more expensive price.

Cost: App is free to download from istore, android store