This is another warning or things to avoid in the GTA. Soccer in this city (or this country for that matter) is sadder than boo'ing at the special olympics. It's like in school when you watched the prissy, hoity-toity floozies being flocked onto the field and forced to take off their high heels and play soccer for the first time as part of gym class. You surround that field with stadium seating, a few cameras and a few dozen spectators (mostly families and wannabe hooligans) and you got the setting for last night's match between Toronto FC and LA Galaxy in the CONCACAF Champions League.

- So, gametime in 1hr, what the hell are we supposed to do?
- Shit, I dunno. Follow the black guy I guess. At least he was on the Angola squad for the 06 World Cup.

Watching a game of Major League Soccer is like watching a synchronized event of seizure candidates. Scientists use clips of north american players dribbling the ball to treat insomnia cases and crystal meth addicts.

If you need to satisfy your soccer craving, do yourself a favor and make it a point of interest on your next vacation trip to Europe or South America. Any country/city you visit in those continents will have a game going at least once a week between September and June (with a small break at Christmas). Even their minor league games will put on a show far superior to anything you get at BMO Field or any other MLS venue.

Price: $35-$120/ticket or upward of $150/ticket when pretty boy Beckham comes to town