Halloween...oh yes, has it been another year already? I've already covered this event before, but given the important stature of it, I think it deserves a sequel. After all, all horror movies do, especially this-a-one. Damn, that's where the money is. Shaky home-cam movies. I wish I were a producer on that-a-one. Oh well, time will come, sooner or later, time will come.

In the meantime, how does one spend halloween? Well I suggest starting the night with a nice movie. Not horror, not zombie re-makes, not slasher Scream-type cheesy crap, but a true nail-bitting suspensful flick. One that has you climbing the walls with anticipation. One that you can watch in the dark, with the lights off and with your heart jumping out of your chest. I think this year's Grave Encounters is the perfect fit. I never felt more scared in my own home.

Then to top off the night, I'd suggest heading out to Screemers. They really went to town making sure your experience is as scary as it can get. Also to top it off they have a nice amuzement park carney show that, around midnight, feels a whole lot different than Wonderland. I vividly recall the Ferris wheel carney and his maniacal laugh, not letting us down even when we threatened a litigation suit. Damn, he was an evil SOB.

And then there's the zero gravity Gravitron. This thing is truly the spawn of Satan, a perfect fit for Halloween. This little contraption generates more vomit per cubic inch than a headshot of Sarah Jessica Parker.

Quick, give me a bucket.

Here's one tip for the rookies: DO NOT, under any circumstances, hold your girl in your arms. The G-forces of the ride will multiply her weight by 5. So if you have a cow for a girlfriend, then you sir will be crushed to an untimely death. I came out of that ride with a new-found respect for oxygen, the sweet, sweet O2 that we all take for granted. Is that irony..that I was almost crushed to death at a Halloween festival? Well, visitor beware. It's all fun and games until you realize something is off...just a little.


This 'lady', something is off...


Cost: $23.50/ticket