As winter rolls upon us, so do the indoor activities. One popular activity in the GTA nowadays is participating in focus groups. However, one may think it's very tough to get a job in those focus groups. Actualy it's very easy, just remember one thing...anonymity is king. This is the only job where there are no in-person interviews, meaning the screening is always done online or over the phone. That gives you a huge advantage, as without the embarrassment of being caught lying in front of a live person, and without any consequences for failure, you are free to manipulate and spin the interviewers around your fingers.

Let your imagination run wild and always give the answers they want to hear.

Here is an example of a job posting looking for focus group participants:
Focus Group seeks Males & Females Ages 35 - 64 for a 1 hour discussion about SUVs.
Preliminary Qualifications:
- males and females
- ages 35 -64
- have not participated in any focus group discussions / interviews (with any company) within the past 6 months
- you own a 2008 or later model SUV
- you own one of the following models: Nissan, Mercedes, BMW, Audi, Ford, Honda, Hyundai, KIA, Dodge, Toyota
- household income at least $75,000

*GASP* Now I can tell you, as a poor white young Canadian boy I only qualify as a "male" above and that's about it. All of the other bullet points completely disqualify me. Oh noes! There goes my paycheque.

DAMN YOU MOTHER FU....ERS!!!!.

Now hold on a minute. I need that money damnit! Now their job is to find people in that specific demographic group. My job as the Canadian consumer is to take their money and get paid. So here is what a smooth operator sees when the the above "qualifications" are disclosed to him/her:

- males and females Well I gotta be at least one of those...Check!
- ages 35 -64 Ok so I'm 5 yrs younger. Quick thinking..let my beard grow, get some aging lines by squinting at all times, put some old grandpa glasses on and choose an outfit that my dad acquired in 1976. Check!
- have not participated in any focus group discussions / intereviews (with any company) within the past 6 months Use an alias. Middle names work great. Ethnic names do too. If any part of your alias in on your drivers license, you can switch them up at will. Check!
- you own a 2008 or later model SUV Crap, mine is 2007 and not an SUV. I could change the registration title but all those damn pesky security features prevent a scan/print. Now what? Grab a DSLR, shoot a hi res image of the registration, print, scan, change model/year - find appropriate font to match, print, cut out..BAM! New title for a fictitious vehicle. Just dont show it to any cop and you'll be golden (that's illegal btw so don't do it!). Now, for my focus group purposes it's improvisation so...check!
- you own one of the following models: Nissan, Mercedes, BMW, Audi, Ford, Honda, Hyundai, KIA, Dodge, Toyota See above..change registration. Check!
- household income at least $75,000 Well mine is one bajillion gajillion dollars...try and check that one out. Check!

Well that was easy. Improvisation, quick thinking, and imagination will give you access to all of those focus groups that are not quite in your demographic group. If there's two (2) things that you must remember, they are:

1. "It's not a lie...if you believe it"!




2. "You look down, they know you're lying and up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make them laugh. They've got to like you then forget you the moment you've left the room. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances... "!




Cost: $75-200 per job