Since we are all on a tight budget here, what with Christmas shopping around the corner, a nice little well kept secret in the neighborhood has been ye old police auctions. The police is pretty much operating like a mafia, shaking down people, coming into a wealth of goods and merchandise that they later fence off for well below street value.

Psst...I got a dozen fresh teddy bears we confiscated from the orphanage.
2 for $5 or 5 for $10.

See when the local police do a raid, take down a meth lab, or accidently open fire on a group of hippies holed up in an abandoned house, all of the victims' belongings automatically and magically become the property of Toronto's finest. After hoarding up stuff and seized property for months on end, their storage areas overflow and thus set up an auction to get rid of all the unwanted items (that the officers deemed not good enough to take home to their families and friends), and make some sweet $$$ along the way. Well, the good news is that the cash goes straight to local charities.

The good news for us, the consumer, is that, just like shopping at Walmart, we don't really care where the stuff came from (be it a a Fillipino in a warehouse putting our iphone together, or a crack whore in Scarborough busted with 3 phones in one hand and a pipe in the other). We just want that damn phone damnit, and we demand we pay the absolute minimum for it. Who cares about its history and how it got onto our hands. If it works and we paid next to nothing for it, ha, wait till I tell my buddies and laugh in their dumbass face, after they bought the same shit from Rogers stores at 300% markup price.

Thus police auctions were invented.


Mine now bitch.

I recently attended the Durham Police auction, a cheeky little auction that featured dozens and dozens of seized bikes, power tools, electronics and a bunch of other stuff. Most, if not all of the items started bidding at 1c and based on demand you could get an almost new 3D TV for $20 or $2000 if you were bidding against some brown or chinese entrepreneur who frequently attends all of the police auctions to buy and resell the goods on ebay.

Speaking of, the rest of the police forces in the GTA have their own ebay site up. I have it bookmarked and you should too, as it's great for the holiday season shopping. Description is dead accurate, they don't shy away from calling a crappy item, crappy, and there's no need for delivery charges, as you can pick up most of the items won at a local address in Toronto. Police forces that dump all of their loot on this ebay store includes Toronto's metro, Halton, Hamilton and Owen Sound. Happy holiday shopping. And try and have a good story when you hand over the recently won 50 cent blood stained teddy bear to your nephew. "No, little fella, it's wasn't taken from a gang related drive-by shooting...where did a little guy like you come up with such a crazy idea...it's from Santa, who personalizes every toy with a little red marker, so you know it's very special and from the heart."


Yo, let's dump this shit on ebay. I need to renovate my basement.

Cost: Free