For those of us on a budget we cannot (and probably will never) afford to have our very own personal watercraft. Fortunately a new up and coming company opened shop in Toronto and rents our their watercrafts to clients with a tight budget. Exclusive Sport Rentals gives you the opportunity to have a lot more fun this summer. But "fun" is a subjective term.

WHAT SHE DID


WHAT THE JET SKI OWNER SAW

Safety clip key not attached to body

WHAT I SAW


Now you may not always have $200 in your pocket to spend on a jetski, but fortunately they have a ton, no really, one of the biggest selection of watercrafts and summer outdoor equipment and rentals from fishing boats and ATVs to the more docile kayaks, canoes, and paddleboards - the newest fad in our fair city.


The newest sport for middle aged women.

They have promotions throughout the season, especially in the off-season and during holidays, so check them out. Go enjoy our lakes (we have plenty of em), our trails (we have plenty of em), our fresh air (plenty of that too), and our wildlife (plenty of it as well, just ran over a squirrel again yesterday). I may have bashed on Canada quite a bit over the years, but America junior turns out has plenty of positives as well, and keeping optimistic is what us mother canuckers do.

Meanwhile in Egypt....


Hmm tough choice for vacation this summer.

Cost: varies

Wasaga beach is just one hour north of the GTA. It's a great place to relax on a hot summer day. The sand is fine, the water is warm and gradually easing into the lake, and the ladies are fine. Here are some tips to make your trip more enjoyable. This way you can turn a potential nightmare into a dream vacation. For visual purposes, think of

turning this


into something like this


Tip 1: Park away from the beach area. The further away you are the cheaper you will get it, although even on the beach itself you can have your car parked the entire day for $10. That's about 2hrs worth in downtown TO, so by comparison that's not bad at all.

Tip 2: This is not a place to get drunk and stupid. The beach is heavily patrolled and OPP checkpoints can be found leading in and out of the area. Don't risk being a knucklehead and keep the drinking to a cottage or something.

Tip 3: Be prepared! You do not want to forget something and be forced to buy it from the marked-up prices at the beach stores. That includes: dry towels, sunscreen, beach towels, flotation devices and toys (if needed), sunglasses, beach umbrella, proper beach footwear, water/soda (and plenty of it), food.

Tip 4: Do NOT, under any circumstances, buy any Gucci bags or Ray Ban eyewear from some random sales dude on the beach.

Tip 5: Use your sunglasses if you are going to ogle some girly girl in a skimpy bikini, else you'll look like a total perv.

Tip 6: Never leave your towel/area unattended if you have brought food with you. I have personally witnessed seagulls converging onto an unattended bag and literary 20 sec later the entire bag was gone, plastic and all. If you come back from the water and notice something missing, it wasn't a thief, it was a flock of seagulls.

Tip 7: If you are a dude do NOT wear speedos, unless you have a fab body, tight bottom, and the proper package for it (like yours truly). If you are a big boned lady, do not wear a bikini or anything that shows any skin for that matter. There's a place at Marineland for you. Keep it there.

One of the best aspects of a beach vacation is the water sports. Skiing, wake boarding, knee boarding, tubing, you can do all of these at Wasaga. phatwakes.com are the guys you need to call to reserve your spot on the next speed boat. Call in advance and if you have fun do tip. We're all on a budget and so are they.


And let the fun times* begin...


Cost: Free
* Warning: Fun Times as depicted may lead to serious injury and/or death. Fun Times may cause rare but serious side effects including dizziness, exhaustion, heat stroke, blurred vision, fractures, internal bleeding, periorbital puffiness with or without accute myocardial infarction. Talk to your doctor before beginning a strenuous Fun Times activity. Tell your doctor if you have or have ever had a history of heart, lung, kidney or seizure problems in the past and if you are on any medication, as these could exacerbate the onset of said side effects. Prolonged exposure to Fun Times may cause addiction and dependency. Please consult a licensed psychiatrist at the first symptoms of addiction.

Right-o, isn't it marvelous to take a day off work and just go to the beach and be lazy all day? You can't really do this on the weekend due to the constant irritating screetches of babies and young ones, but smack dab in the middle of the week....a day at the beach (in Toronto) can be a darn relaxing thing. Toronto has a lot of beaches and the sand and water quality have been one of the cleanest in years. A few years ago it was dreadful and beaches closed left and right, but this year all signs are green. Studies have confirmed it; it's safe, it's fun and the water is very warm due to the high temperatures we've been experiencing this summer.

Here are some of the best places to check out if you crave the white sand and the soothing water.

The Beaches:
East of DVP by the lake

The granddaddy of them all and most famous tho overcrowded

Toronto Island Beach:
On Toronto Island if the name threw you off

Hard to get to, need to pay ferry or swim/paddle over there

Jack Darling Park Beach:
GTA west in Mississauga

My favorite just because of convenience, it's right next door

Sugar Beach:
Smack in the middle of Downtown

The newly opened and much touted beach right in the middle of downtown. Swimming is prohibited here, so it's a bit like jacking off without the payout. Go there if you just want to sit in the sun and bake, but by that token why not go out in your driveway and set up a towel.

Presqu’ile Provincial Park Beach:
1.5hrs east of TO

This one is a bit far to the east, but a truly hidden gem

Cost: Free, but that last one will charge you a $13 park fee