Wasaga beach is just one hour north of the GTA. It's a great place to relax on a hot summer day. The sand is fine, the water is warm and gradually easing into the lake, and the ladies are fine. Here are some tips to make your trip more enjoyable. This way you can turn a potential nightmare into a dream vacation. For visual purposes, think of

turning this


into something like this


Tip 1: Park away from the beach area. The further away you are the cheaper you will get it, although even on the beach itself you can have your car parked the entire day for $10. That's about 2hrs worth in downtown TO, so by comparison that's not bad at all.

Tip 2: This is not a place to get drunk and stupid. The beach is heavily patrolled and OPP checkpoints can be found leading in and out of the area. Don't risk being a knucklehead and keep the drinking to a cottage or something.

Tip 3: Be prepared! You do not want to forget something and be forced to buy it from the marked-up prices at the beach stores. That includes: dry towels, sunscreen, beach towels, flotation devices and toys (if needed), sunglasses, beach umbrella, proper beach footwear, water/soda (and plenty of it), food.

Tip 4: Do NOT, under any circumstances, buy any Gucci bags or Ray Ban eyewear from some random sales dude on the beach.

Tip 5: Use your sunglasses if you are going to ogle some girly girl in a skimpy bikini, else you'll look like a total perv.

Tip 6: Never leave your towel/area unattended if you have brought food with you. I have personally witnessed seagulls converging onto an unattended bag and literary 20 sec later the entire bag was gone, plastic and all. If you come back from the water and notice something missing, it wasn't a thief, it was a flock of seagulls.

Tip 7: If you are a dude do NOT wear speedos, unless you have a fab body, tight bottom, and the proper package for it (like yours truly). If you are a big boned lady, do not wear a bikini or anything that shows any skin for that matter. There's a place at Marineland for you. Keep it there.

One of the best aspects of a beach vacation is the water sports. Skiing, wake boarding, knee boarding, tubing, you can do all of these at Wasaga. phatwakes.com are the guys you need to call to reserve your spot on the next speed boat. Call in advance and if you have fun do tip. We're all on a budget and so are they.


And let the fun times* begin...


Cost: Free
* Warning: Fun Times as depicted may lead to serious injury and/or death. Fun Times may cause rare but serious side effects including dizziness, exhaustion, heat stroke, blurred vision, fractures, internal bleeding, periorbital puffiness with or without accute myocardial infarction. Talk to your doctor before beginning a strenuous Fun Times activity. Tell your doctor if you have or have ever had a history of heart, lung, kidney or seizure problems in the past and if you are on any medication, as these could exacerbate the onset of said side effects. Prolonged exposure to Fun Times may cause addiction and dependency. Please consult a licensed psychiatrist at the first symptoms of addiction.